Monthly Archives: January 2013

Job interviewers make me feel dirty

Is it safe?

Is it safe?

Three job interviews ago when asked why I left my last job, I replied, cubicle fire. Not hired Two job interviews ago when asked what my bad point was, I said assault rifle shopaholic. Not hired. On my last interview when asked what I would change about myself, I replied that I wanted to try not to be such a perfectionist. It was a lie and it made me feel dirty. But that’s what job interviews seem to be all about. The interviewer wants to know how good a liar you are. And I suck at it. I mean I never know if I should be turning down the BS and turning up the ass-kissing or visa versa.  But I am even more disturbed by interviewers who assume I am applying for the job because I love their company.

“Why do you want to work for Soul Taker Paper Pushers, Inc?”

“It’s been my lifelong ambition, right after jet pilot. And since I’m too tall to be a jet pilot…”

The real answer: A paycheck so I can feed and house my family. In my opinion, somebody who’s been unemployed for nearly a year would make a very dedicated employee. They’ve tasted the streets and have seen the respect in their family’s eyes drain away like the cash in the savings account. Someone like that is going to work hard to get it right. But can I say that? Can I bear my soul and ask these corporations to take pity on a man on the edge? I’m thinking no.

I read where interviewers were designing questions to assess a person’s self-awareness. I assume if the interviewee has it, he or she  won’t get hired.